Love the Lovely Self Checkout

So, these new self checkout lanes...no one seems to truly appreciate them besides me. I've introduced a number of people to them, and everyone has had problems with them. However, I think they are one of the best inventions of our time. It's sad that people trained to work the checkout lane are so incompetent that I can check myself out more efficiently than they can, but unfortunately, that is the case. Not only am I faster than your average checkout lane employee, I do a far superior job of bagging as well. Thus, the self check out lane is a dream come true for me (literally as well as figuratively, as this is something I have dreamed of inventing myself).

I think that these lanes work brilliantly, and have had only a few minor problems in well over a dozen uses. The main issue seems to be placing things into the bagging area and removing them from said bagging area. It's very important to place the item there immediately upon scanning it, never ever lean on the bagging area, and never ever ever remove any item from the bagging area (unless it is an attached body part) until the payment process has been completed. By following these simple rules, 99% of the problems I have witnessed at the self checkout could have been avoided.

Of course there are a few other problems that are not so easily solved. If an item doesn't ring up correctly, a major meltdown can occur (example: my sister attempting to buy clearance nail polish, which rang up as $1.50 instead of the advertised 50 cents). Then there is the problem inherent in the purchase of large items. The prime example of this is my mother's trip to buy large Rubbermaid containers (why she needed more, I will never know, as the house is stacked floor to ceiling with them). She wanted to use the self checkout because all the other lines at Walmart were insane, but people are still afraid of the self checkout so those lanes were empty. However, when she asked the little self checkout helper person if they had a handheld scanner since her items wouldn't fit on to the counter, she was scornfully told that she must go to a regular checkout lane. She thought this was crap, and being a creative lady, decided to remove the labels from the containers and simply scan them. This caused Old Meanie to come back and yell at my mother for not obeying her order to go to a regular aisle. My mother, not being easily deterred, stayed put and continued with her process, while being reamed out, until a much more polite cashier came along and rescued her, under the guise of "helping" her use the self checkout.

This brings up my final issue with the self checkout. People sometimes get into situations that require help and are therefore unable to be completely self reliant. This generally isn't a problem, as the store has a person stationed by these lanes for precisely this reason. However, the last time I was at Walmart, I was in line to use the self checkout behind a handicapped couple. Now these people were in wheelchairs and so could not reach the self checkout touchscreen etc. Yet, for some unknown reason, they insisted on using this lane. So, the helper person had to come over and ring up their entire purchase for them. This completely negates the entire notion of self checkout. And lo and behold, it somehow managed to take the lady 5 times longer than necessary to check these people out. Needless to say I was QUITE annoyed and inclined to make obnoxious comments about people who couldn't check themselves out not using the self checkout lane. But, I managed to refrain.

As I have gone on about this topic far longer than common sense says I should be able to, I will add only one thing. The loud voice which announces every step in your checkout process as well as the price of everything you are ringing up is a little bit annoying. But but but...in spite of everything, I do, indeed, love the lovely self checkout.