Not Ready For This Yet

This is, as accurately as I can remember it, a conversation Jordan and Karlye had in the car on the way home tonight (some names have been omitted to protect the innocent). Background: The kids were talking about what they wanted to name their future potential children. I couldn't hear the names they were saying at first, although I believe Jordan's current favorite girl's name is Brazil.

Karlye: Well, you have to decide with your wife. You have to pick it together.

Jordan: If I ever have a boy I'm going to name it Michael Jordan. No, Jordan Michael.

Karlye: Then he would have the same name as you. You should name him Michael Jordan.

Jordan: Then his name would be Michael Jordan Disch. Michael Jordan's last name is Jordan, and he spells it the same way I spell my name! (Side note: Jordan is partially named after Michael Jordan, so this is not a coincidence.)

Some discussion followed about the fact that Karlye's last name will change when she gets married but Jordan's won't. Then...

Karlye: If I marry Boy#1 my name will be Karlye So-and-so, but if I marry Boy#2 my last name will be Karlye Something-else.

Jordan: If I marry Girl #1, her name will be Girl #1 Disch, but right now it's Girl #1 Whoever, and if I marry Girl #2 her name will be Girl #2 Disch, but right now it's Girl #2 Blah-blah-blah.

Karlye: Who would you pick to marry first? Jordan: I like Girl #1 best, then Girl #2, then Girl #3, then Girl #4. I thought you liked Boy #3?

Karlye: I do but I don't know his last name. I'm only saying people that I know their last name. Jordan loves Girl #1.

Jordan: I think she knows that. She's my best friend.

Karlye: I'm talking to Mom. Mom, Jordan loves Girl #1.

Me: That's nice. She's a nice girl.

Jordan: Yeah.

Then discussion followed about the relative merits of Boy#1 and Boy#2. Karlye told Jordan not to tell one of them that she liked him, if Jordan ever saw him, because "you don't want to make him mad" or "he'll take you down to the ground." Jordan wanted to know what would happen if he made the other boy mad and Karlye said he'd probably go off and cry.

Karlye: So I have to pick either really tough or really fast. Boy #1 is really tough and Boy #2 is really fast.

Jordan: I'm really fast. Do you think I could beat (one of the boys).

Karlye: Yeah, but you couldn't beat (the other boy).

Jordan: Maybe you should pick someone who's really tough AND really fast.

Karlye: Yeah. When I get married, me and my husband are going to work out together. Because you know when you have babies you get really...(pause, then a whisper)...big. I'm going to stay skinny so I'm going to go and work out right away after I have the baby. Jordan, why are you laughing?

Jordan: You're going to stay skinny???

Karlye: Well, me and my husband are going to work out a lot. Sometimes I'll go work out, and sometimes we'll get a babysitter and then we'll go work out together.

Jordan: You know, this might not work out just the way you have it planned.

Karlye: I know.

I thought I might seriously die from trying so hard not to laugh out loud. I kept turning the music down lower and lower so I could hear them, hoping they wouldn't notice and stop talking. I love kids!