In Memoriam

In Memoriam

Last night my Grandma Ingrid passed on from this life to the next. I haven't seen her much in recent years. She moved away, and somehow I never found the time to visit until this fall. Although she and I had a good relationship, she'd said and done things that hurt people I cared about and sometimes she made critical remarks that made me really uncomfortable. I sent her letters occasionally, cards on her birthday and gifts for Christmas, but I wish I would have gone to see her more often. I think it would have made her happy. Although she did have strong opinions about a lot of things, including how other people should live their lives, she was a very giving person. I have so many wonderful memories of the times I spent with her. I saw her just a week ago, and although she was frail and got a little confused, we had a really nice visit. We talked a lot about the times my brothers, sisters and I spent with her as children. I told her she had been such a blessing to our family, and it must of been a lot of work for her to take care of so many of us. But she said no not really, it had been a lot of fun. I know it was for us. I love her so much and I'll miss her.

Read More

Changes

September is, increasingly for us, a month of changes. As the seasons shift from summer to fall, the days, and especially the nights, are cooler. It's getting dark earlier. The kids have gone back to school. Karlye's mom moved so Karlye is attending 6th grade at a new school, in a new city, in a new state. Jordan started 5th grade at the local intermediate school. Sasha's still at the elementary school here in town, but first grade brings a new classroom, new teacher and new classmates. So far the kids are enjoying school and coping with the early mornings and more structured schedule just fine. I'm not loving the whole "waking up to an alarm clock again" deal, but I guess I don't really have a choice.

Read More

As Time Goes By

People keep asking me how I'm doing. "Fine, OK, alright, good, hanging in there," I say. And I am all of those things. What I don't say is, "I feel guilty." How can I live my life as though everything is normal when Miriam and Eric have had someone so precious torn from their life? How can I ask my kids to be quiet so I can read (a Harry Potter book for the 5th or so time) instead of making the most of every minute I'm blessed to have them here with me? How can I want to laugh when I hear Sasha insisting that Jordan and/or "Tiny Baby" have to pretend to be sick and die and Jordan protesting that he doesn't want to play that when I was, am, and will continue to be devastated by the death of my tiny niece and know that they miss her too? 

Read More

A Letter to Miss Hailey Mae

A Letter to Miss Hailey Mae

Dear Hailey, I will never forget the day your mother told me she was pregnant with you. When she asked me to take a walk with her I knew what she was going to say. I felt joy that our family was going to be blessed with another baby, but I knew that your mom and dad would have a hard road ahead of them. I never could have imagined just how hard it would be.

Read More