I recently reviewed all the blog posts I've ever written for myself, starting in 2002! Some Thursdays I'll be reposting from my archives just for fun. The post below was originally published October 21st, 2003. Needless to say, that was far and away the most "interesting" employee review I've ever had. Thankfully I cannot imagine any employer I've had before or since offering this kind of feedback.
So, a few weeks ago I had my employee review. Apparently I am not answering the phone happily enough, or greeting the clients with enough friendliness when they come in. My boss told me that, get this, I should be more like a Hooter's girl. When I just looked at him, like, "um, what?" he said, "I don't care what you think about Hooters. Some of my friends' kids work at Hooters. Those girls are just like any other girls, just trying to make money, except they wear shorts to work instead of long pants." Yeah, right.
Then he tells me he'd like to get in on the Hooters training program, because they train those girls to be just the friendliest girls he has ever met. You never have to ask for a refill on your beer at Hooters. OK....I think it takes a certain type of personality to WANT to work at Hooters. I would guess that your average Hooter's girl has a predisposition to be "nice" to men, especially when they are going to be tipping her. The more intoxicated the man, and the "nicer" he thinks she's being, the better the tip.
Anyway, when my boss had completed this little tirade I asked him if that meant I could wear shorts to work. I'm not sure what he said. He mumbled something that could either have been not if they're Hooters shorts, or not unless they're Hooters shorts. Yeah, whatever. Needless to say, I haven't worn shorts to work, and I don't intend to. I have gotten a little cheerier when I answer the phone, and apparently he noticed because he asked me if I'd been practicing in the car on my way home (another little tip he gave me). Gag me.